This week in money

The recession is over? Blow me. I've been doing Christmas shopping little by little every weekend and have only had to wait in line once, my stocks are all in the red, the foreclosure rate continues to go up, and, oh yeah, I'm still underemployed (and living at home.)

Not only has this week been another testament to the horrid streak of post-college fail, but I am having roommate trouble.

"Roommate trouble? Anthony, you live at home! Those aren't your roommates, they're your parents!"

Well, back in August, my grandmother moved in with us. She's 96, Irish-Catholic, and hard of hearing. She believes in stockinged-feet, not traveling after dark, and that Obama is a Muslim (and that that would be a bad thing.)
Obviously she knows not of my love life, despite asking my mother if I'm gay on the grounds that I sport an earring. Ellen's only response was, "Oh mom, all the kids have earrings these days."
Well played, Ellen... we have a will to think about!

Nanny likes things in a very particular way. She likes to have her tea with the bag still steeping, a mid-afternoon cookie, and she hates $20 bills. She thinks that the People's Republic of China is printing $20 bills and sending their citizens here to spend spend spend. You can tell if your bill is fake if it has the two-toned print on it. Ask her. She'll tell you.
She sent me to the bank for $500. She doesn't leave the house. Obviously this money is going right up her nose. The awful part about this task was that she had a list of what she would like:

• 6 $50 = $300
• 15 $10 = $150
• 10 $5 = $50

She has a Bank of America ATM card and I do all my banking through Sovereign. How was I supposed to pull this off when everybody knows that ATMs give out $20 bills?
I went to the BOA ATM in Franklin then drove back to Norfolk to go to my bank and told them the story (I left the part out about the Chinese treasury notes). I got her everything on her list. I also got a kickback of one of the fivers (score!) which, just like the rest of the $495, went right up my nose.