I'm Not Kidding

Many people lament grocery shopping. I am not one of these people. I will tucker out almost anyone while I drag him or her through the aisles of the local A&P. I wasn’t kidding when I told you that I LOVE GROCERY STORES. It’s almost a fetish. Grocery shopping with me is akin to clothes shopping with a 14-year-old girl carrying daddy’s credit card with two hours to go until the cinema will let her back in to see the vampires for the 5th time this month.

Things that make me warm inside: weekend farmer’s markets, kitchen gadgetry, cast-iron cookware, strolling down every aisle of a grocery store and examining every product and imagining what could be done with it.

Things that make me the opposite of warm inside: frozen, pre-prepared foods, canned soups, meat, the aforementioned 14-year-old girl.

*****

Young people often ask me, “Anthony, where should I go for the best grocery store experience?” After I back out of their H1N1 sphere of influence, I tell them to take their time to take it all in and they can enjoy any grocery store. However, if they must know…

My top 5 grocery stores are:

5. Whole Foods - Dedham, MA… the naturals, the organics, the hypocrisy of damming the man while shopping in his store…

4. Trader Joe’s - Natick, MA… who knew goat cheese could be so affordable?

3. Wegmann’s - Woodbridge, VA… terrible customer service, but this place is the size of a small European country and I think they pump oxygen into the aisles so you stay longer. Feels very much like a casino.

2. Giant - Fredericksburg, VA (@Park and Shop)… the nurembourg rally of mullets and manners

1. Elmwood Thomson - Richmond, VA… vegan, soy, corn, and gluten free mac’n’cheese and the best best best feeling of approval when you tell the cashier you don’t need a bag.

How many posts need I before I’m contacted about a book deal to profile America’s grocerias? Add 1 to the tally.