I apologize for leaving you all hanging for so long, but had I updated last week, it would have been an incoherent political tirade over the outcome of the Massachusetts election for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat.
With that said, I have a plan to use Scott Brown's new position to my advantage. Stay with me.
My new love is the Norfolk Public Library. I love not paying for books. It's the perfect set-up. You leave without paying, and the Catholic guilt that you haven't been able to beat out of your body doesn't interfere because you haven't stolen anything!
I have most recently been reading Michael Pollan's works as well as Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and I am inspired to rethink my own feelings and attitudes of food. I now am non-stop planning my first vegetable garden and am preparing myself to grow produce for the first time. Sure, I killed a solo-cup herb garden last year, but if the Author of The Poisonwood Bible can do it, how hard can it be?
But the gardening dream doesn't stop there. I think the only vocation that will make me truly happy in life is farming. The farm down the street from me will probably go up for sale in a few years. The town of Norfolk was a hotbed for residential development for the past 15 years. We all know that farmland lost is farmland lost forever. I refuse to see this beautiful piece of land go to families that take on 50 year mortgages and then cannot afford to furnish their extravagant homes. I have every intention of writing to Scott Brown for a farm subsidy (usually only given to farms that produce cheap corn and soy) to purchase this farm and begin operation to feed my community from our land. Norfolk Community Farms (our name-to-be) will not only produce food for the community, but provide a place for the members of the community to, well, commune.
Ok... I said it... I want to live on a commune. But I don't want to weave my own clothes out of wheat, or make my own variety of tofu. We'll leave those tasks up to internet suitors that appear to just be sending messages to everyone in a 25-mile radius while listening to the music of ThunderPussy.
I've forgotten what I was talking about...
Ah, yes. Farming. I'm also assuming with the popularity of FarmVille on Facebook, I can garner support from the townfolk. It will be like FarmVille in real life! If we simply have a few, full-time employees, everyone else can stop in for 10 minutes after work... JUST LIKE FARMVILLE!
If I can't get the subsidy, I will then commence plan B.
Plan B:
Run for Norfolk Town Council on the platform that this town is out of control with spending money on new building. "Vote DiRenzo. A School is not a building, it's a community of people." Slowly embezzle the non-school money into my own pocket, and then buy the farm. If I use the land to give back to the community, I won't feel bad about it.
Anyone know where I can get organic soil wholesale?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Like Clockwork
I do very few things like clockwork. I can't even do clockwork like clockwork. One thing I can count on (other than my family's need to take simultaneous showers when I'm already running late with my day) is my nervousness when I get halfway through a knitting project that it will be too small. I am experiencing this now:
Readers, meet Daybreak. Daybreak, readers. He's about 60% finished and the edge that's not on the needles is what is to wrap around my neck. I'm estimating that there will be another foot or so added to it, which is only six inches per side, which isn't enough. Urgh, now I'm just knitting through the pain and hoping that it will all come out in the wash (then block.)
I also go back and forth worrying that it looks like a bumble bee. When I don't think that- I think it looks FANTASTIC! The other good knitting news is that I have selected my first sweater pattern. This month's issue of Vogue Knitting contains an article on Boy Meets Purl and there is a phenomenal cardi that I think would look rather dashing on me. Three things need to happen before this starts: 1) Daybreak needs to figure his shit out and grow a little on the edge, 2) The next issue of Vogue Knitting needs to come out so that I may check out the current issue from the Norfolk Public Library (we're in a recession!) and 3) I need to win big from the Mashantucket Pequot Tribe in the near future so that I can buy the suggested Rowan yarn to make it... As only one of these three are a definite, I'm not quite holding my uncardiganned breath, but am still hopeful.
Switching topics, I bring us back to my quest to try new things in 2k10. I nettipotted for the first time yesterday. I didn't just frivolously decide to add this to my list, I haven't been able to breathe properly out of my nose in MONTHS. Obviously I bought it weeks ago and have been too terrified to actually try it. I said, "Anthony, grow a pair and jut do it!" I opened the box, tore into a saline packet and tilt my head forward and jumped into my new life. I cried a little bit... not out of any emotion, but because of the unexpected feeling. Also, all of the youtube videos I watched to prepare myself had people keep their mouths open. So I did. And I drooled. I'm not proud, but I had to share my experiences to make you all the more wiser. You can indeed keep your mouth closed when nettipotting.
I'm sorry for being so graphic, but I've been breathing like a King for the past 30 hours and feel like I need to raise up my nettipot, thank the academy, and of course, Jesus.
Readers, meet Daybreak. Daybreak, readers. He's about 60% finished and the edge that's not on the needles is what is to wrap around my neck. I'm estimating that there will be another foot or so added to it, which is only six inches per side, which isn't enough. Urgh, now I'm just knitting through the pain and hoping that it will all come out in the wash (then block.)
I also go back and forth worrying that it looks like a bumble bee. When I don't think that- I think it looks FANTASTIC! The other good knitting news is that I have selected my first sweater pattern. This month's issue of Vogue Knitting contains an article on Boy Meets Purl and there is a phenomenal cardi that I think would look rather dashing on me. Three things need to happen before this starts: 1) Daybreak needs to figure his shit out and grow a little on the edge, 2) The next issue of Vogue Knitting needs to come out so that I may check out the current issue from the Norfolk Public Library (we're in a recession!) and 3) I need to win big from the Mashantucket Pequot Tribe in the near future so that I can buy the suggested Rowan yarn to make it... As only one of these three are a definite, I'm not quite holding my uncardiganned breath, but am still hopeful.
Switching topics, I bring us back to my quest to try new things in 2k10. I nettipotted for the first time yesterday. I didn't just frivolously decide to add this to my list, I haven't been able to breathe properly out of my nose in MONTHS. Obviously I bought it weeks ago and have been too terrified to actually try it. I said, "Anthony, grow a pair and jut do it!" I opened the box, tore into a saline packet and tilt my head forward and jumped into my new life. I cried a little bit... not out of any emotion, but because of the unexpected feeling. Also, all of the youtube videos I watched to prepare myself had people keep their mouths open. So I did. And I drooled. I'm not proud, but I had to share my experiences to make you all the more wiser. You can indeed keep your mouth closed when nettipotting.
I'm sorry for being so graphic, but I've been breathing like a King for the past 30 hours and feel like I need to raise up my nettipot, thank the academy, and of course, Jesus.
Monday, January 4, 2010
2010 New Things
I've decided that 2k10 is the year that I will no longer be able to end a thought with "...in this economy." This is because the economy is going to turn around.
For this to happen, I've decided that all Americans need to try something new periodically. Since I have my finger on the pulse of the nation and have a grand understanding of economics, this will work. It will work if the "something new" involves putting money into the economy.
Today is starting two of my new things.
The first is a boxing class at the Adirondack Club. 1 hour a week punching a bag will probably end in me in tears at some point, but I'm excited and I have my bandanna all laid out to be tied on a keep the sweat out. How badass will I look in boxing gloves? And by "badass" i mean "incongruous..."
The second thing I'm trying out today is knitting from a pattern I purchased. All of my knitting has been off of free online patterns or out of library books. But I had to buy "Daybreak" by Westknits.
Today was the grand re-opening of my favorite LYS, In the Loop. 15% off everything! Yes please! I got the yarn i needed for daybreak- Louet Gem- brand new at ITL!
All I can say is that I'm trying to find the words to describe this yarn without being disrespectful. Keep an eye out for updates on the Daybreak.
For this to happen, I've decided that all Americans need to try something new periodically. Since I have my finger on the pulse of the nation and have a grand understanding of economics, this will work. It will work if the "something new" involves putting money into the economy.
Today is starting two of my new things.
The first is a boxing class at the Adirondack Club. 1 hour a week punching a bag will probably end in me in tears at some point, but I'm excited and I have my bandanna all laid out to be tied on a keep the sweat out. How badass will I look in boxing gloves? And by "badass" i mean "incongruous..."
The second thing I'm trying out today is knitting from a pattern I purchased. All of my knitting has been off of free online patterns or out of library books. But I had to buy "Daybreak" by Westknits.
Today was the grand re-opening of my favorite LYS, In the Loop. 15% off everything! Yes please! I got the yarn i needed for daybreak- Louet Gem- brand new at ITL!
All I can say is that I'm trying to find the words to describe this yarn without being disrespectful. Keep an eye out for updates on the Daybreak.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Success
Congratulations! We have made it through the holidays.
My only two things to share of this joyous time is that after a tumultuous round of knitting a hat for my boyfriend, I am breaking pescetarianism to eat an alpaca burger. I tried 6 different times to knit him a hat out of alpaca yarn. It kept coming out child sized and my gauge kept being wrong.
Naturally the yarn was tainted with bad karma. I bought different yarn and I chose a new pattern and tried to crank it out on the 23rd (see that blog post) but screwed it up, naturally. I stayed up all night on Christmas Eve trying to finish it. I finally was successful in doing this:
I never want to cable knit anything again in my life... I will spend my cabling time cooking and consuming alpaca burgers....
I have to also share what my boyfriend gave me. I love cycling classes, also called spinning classes. He gave me a spinning class.
But not that kind of spin class. An instructor at Slater Mill in Pawtucket, RI offers classes on spinning your own yarn. OMG I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED! I'ma spin the sh*t outa some fiber... can't wait to share it!
I was knitting with some other friends from high school this week and we decided to start our own fiber farm. We're going to call ourselves the Worsted Shire and also carry a line of our own Worcestershire sauce. Get ready!
Happy 2k10
My only two things to share of this joyous time is that after a tumultuous round of knitting a hat for my boyfriend, I am breaking pescetarianism to eat an alpaca burger. I tried 6 different times to knit him a hat out of alpaca yarn. It kept coming out child sized and my gauge kept being wrong.
Naturally the yarn was tainted with bad karma. I bought different yarn and I chose a new pattern and tried to crank it out on the 23rd (see that blog post) but screwed it up, naturally. I stayed up all night on Christmas Eve trying to finish it. I finally was successful in doing this:
I never want to cable knit anything again in my life... I will spend my cabling time cooking and consuming alpaca burgers....
I have to also share what my boyfriend gave me. I love cycling classes, also called spinning classes. He gave me a spinning class.
But not that kind of spin class. An instructor at Slater Mill in Pawtucket, RI offers classes on spinning your own yarn. OMG I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED! I'ma spin the sh*t outa some fiber... can't wait to share it!
I was knitting with some other friends from high school this week and we decided to start our own fiber farm. We're going to call ourselves the Worsted Shire and also carry a line of our own Worcestershire sauce. Get ready!
Happy 2k10
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