Life's Plan

I apologize for leaving you all hanging for so long, but had I updated last week, it would have been an incoherent political tirade over the outcome of the Massachusetts election for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat.

With that said, I have a plan to use Scott Brown's new position to my advantage. Stay with me.

My new love is the Norfolk Public Library. I love not paying for books. It's the perfect set-up. You leave without paying, and the Catholic guilt that you haven't been able to beat out of your body doesn't interfere because you haven't stolen anything!

I have most recently been reading Michael Pollan's works as well as Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and I am inspired to rethink my own feelings and attitudes of food. I now am non-stop planning my first vegetable garden and am preparing myself to grow produce for the first time. Sure, I killed a solo-cup herb garden last year, but if the Author of The Poisonwood Bible can do it, how hard can it be?

But the gardening dream doesn't stop there. I think the only vocation that will make me truly happy in life is farming. The farm down the street from me will probably go up for sale in a few years. The town of Norfolk was a hotbed for residential development for the past 15 years. We all know that farmland lost is farmland lost forever. I refuse to see this beautiful piece of land go to families that take on 50 year mortgages and then cannot afford to furnish their extravagant homes. I have every intention of writing to Scott Brown for a farm subsidy (usually only given to farms that produce cheap corn and soy) to purchase this farm and begin operation to feed my community from our land. Norfolk Community Farms (our name-to-be) will not only produce food for the community, but provide a place for the members of the community to, well, commune.

Ok... I said it... I want to live on a commune. But I don't want to weave my own clothes out of wheat, or make my own variety of tofu. We'll leave those tasks up to internet suitors that appear to just be sending messages to everyone in a 25-mile radius while listening to the music of ThunderPussy.

I've forgotten what I was talking about...

Ah, yes. Farming. I'm also assuming with the popularity of FarmVille on Facebook, I can garner support from the townfolk. It will be like FarmVille in real life! If we simply have a few, full-time employees, everyone else can stop in for 10 minutes after work... JUST LIKE FARMVILLE!

If I can't get the subsidy, I will then commence plan B.

Plan B:

Run for Norfolk Town Council on the platform that this town is out of control with spending money on new building. "Vote DiRenzo. A School is not a building, it's a community of people." Slowly embezzle the non-school money into my own pocket, and then buy the farm. If I use the land to give back to the community, I won't feel bad about it.

Anyone know where I can get organic soil wholesale?