It's here... It's Christmas morning... holy Christ! (literally)
Obviously since I'm still a child I haven't slept a wink and am anxiously counting down the hours until my sister arrives this morning for present time.
This Christmas I asked for a goat. I'm not 100% sure there's a goat down there, but I did leave some local eggnog and a sampler of cookies for the big guy and I'm feeling good about it.
Goats bleat. Did you know that? Every hour on the hour since midnight I've gone to the top of the stairs and strained my ears to hear for the bleating of Amalthea or Christopher (I would have said Amalthea AND Christopher, but I wasn't particularly nice this year. Not naughty, just not nice, but I'm not pushing for anything huge.)
"But Anthony..." (right now, I'm doing your internal comments) "But Anthony, what would you do with a goat?"
I would love it, brush it's hair, shear it and spin its fibers into yarn, milk it and make goat cheese/butter/yogurt, play with it, walk it, take pics of it...
Ok... 4 more hours... I can't tell if I heard bleating or the cratering of a reindeer against the roof... back to working on the boyfriend knitting project.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Ugg
** 2AM UPDATE**
The knitting gods do not look kindly upon me this Christmas Eve Eve (the penultimate day before Christmas).
Project fail... unravel... restart... need food... can't
The knitting gods do not look kindly upon me this Christmas Eve Eve (the penultimate day before Christmas).
Project fail... unravel... restart... need food... can't
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Crunch Time
I wasn't in the Christmas spirit. I think I maxed out my holiday enjoyment over Hanukkah (and what a fantastic Hanukkah it was!) I realized about three days ago that I'm not excited for Christmas. Maybe it's because I was so behind on gift-buying? that I haven't yet written a Season's Greetings card? or that I'm just scrooging out this year. Why the broken-down sleigh in my heart?
Today I figured it out. It's the freaking dancing Santa at work over which the children crap their pants. They walk up to the desk, push that flippin' button (which also pushes my button), and Santa proceeds to dance, twirl a lasso, and sing a Christmas edition of "Rawhide." As a pescetarian, I take offense. My ears bleed as I sing along to:
"Rolling, Rolling Rolling
Keep them reindeer rolling
Rolling rolling rolling toniiiiiight..."
I cured my Christmas woes last night by finishing my father's shopping for my mother. This way she gets something that will match (Tony is colorblind) and I get the miles on my credit card. My sister and I went to the mall- which still had the same amount of highschoolers as any given Friday. WTF are you all doing here on a school night? It is crunch time, you're just wasted space right now.
So we made our final purchases for Ellen. We also picked up a candle for my sister and a scarf for me as a kickback from Tony for such a wonderful job we did. We already wrapped everything (including the kickbacks) and watched Love Actually. I'm now 'all teams go' for Christmas.
Son of a Bitch!
I'm 8 rows into the knit part gift for my boyfriend and I planned on having it finished by tomorrow. It's like I'm back in college and I'm just sitting down to the 8-page research paper in Spanish that is due in 13 hours. I lit a zen candle, I filled my nalgene, I've got plenty of hand lotion (Nanny keeps the heat high and my skin is brittle.... mmmmmmmm brittle....) and a week's worth of NPR podcasts up on which to catch.
I also have plenty of snacks... oh wait... I need to fast for 12 hours to have blood drawn tomorrow... dammit!
Ok- late night with no food... this might be for the best... I can do it. Just think of Santa. Just think of Santa. Just think of Santa.
*****
I guess instead of eating I'll just look at all the pretty yarn I purchased this week. I freaking love yarn stores. My guess at this is that I'm an attention whore and LYS owners in suburbia are always shocked when a guy walks into their store and commence their inquiry into everything about me. Y-Chromosome discount? No?
The rust Blue Sky Alpaca skinny cotton and the brown tweed Inca alpaca classic will become socks and the black and gray Rowan big wool is to become the 14 pattern on ravelry... time to pick just the right buttons... perhaps the singing Santa's button will 'fall off the truck' as my Italian relatives would say *wink*
Today I figured it out. It's the freaking dancing Santa at work over which the children crap their pants. They walk up to the desk, push that flippin' button (which also pushes my button), and Santa proceeds to dance, twirl a lasso, and sing a Christmas edition of "Rawhide." As a pescetarian, I take offense. My ears bleed as I sing along to:
"Rolling, Rolling Rolling
Keep them reindeer rolling
Rolling rolling rolling toniiiiiight..."
I cured my Christmas woes last night by finishing my father's shopping for my mother. This way she gets something that will match (Tony is colorblind) and I get the miles on my credit card. My sister and I went to the mall- which still had the same amount of highschoolers as any given Friday. WTF are you all doing here on a school night? It is crunch time, you're just wasted space right now.
So we made our final purchases for Ellen. We also picked up a candle for my sister and a scarf for me as a kickback from Tony for such a wonderful job we did. We already wrapped everything (including the kickbacks) and watched Love Actually. I'm now 'all teams go' for Christmas.
Son of a Bitch!
I'm 8 rows into the knit part gift for my boyfriend and I planned on having it finished by tomorrow. It's like I'm back in college and I'm just sitting down to the 8-page research paper in Spanish that is due in 13 hours. I lit a zen candle, I filled my nalgene, I've got plenty of hand lotion (Nanny keeps the heat high and my skin is brittle.... mmmmmmmm brittle....) and a week's worth of NPR podcasts up on which to catch.
I also have plenty of snacks... oh wait... I need to fast for 12 hours to have blood drawn tomorrow... dammit!
Ok- late night with no food... this might be for the best... I can do it. Just think of Santa. Just think of Santa. Just think of Santa.
*****
I guess instead of eating I'll just look at all the pretty yarn I purchased this week. I freaking love yarn stores. My guess at this is that I'm an attention whore and LYS owners in suburbia are always shocked when a guy walks into their store and commence their inquiry into everything about me. Y-Chromosome discount? No?
The rust Blue Sky Alpaca skinny cotton and the brown tweed Inca alpaca classic will become socks and the black and gray Rowan big wool is to become the 14 pattern on ravelry... time to pick just the right buttons... perhaps the singing Santa's button will 'fall off the truck' as my Italian relatives would say *wink*
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
This week in money
The recession is over? Blow me. I've been doing Christmas shopping little by little every weekend and have only had to wait in line once, my stocks are all in the red, the foreclosure rate continues to go up, and, oh yeah, I'm still underemployed (and living at home.)
Not only has this week been another testament to the horrid streak of post-college fail, but I am having roommate trouble.
"Roommate trouble? Anthony, you live at home! Those aren't your roommates, they're your parents!"
Well, back in August, my grandmother moved in with us. She's 96, Irish-Catholic, and hard of hearing. She believes in stockinged-feet, not traveling after dark, and that Obama is a Muslim (and that that would be a bad thing.)
Obviously she knows not of my love life, despite asking my mother if I'm gay on the grounds that I sport an earring. Ellen's only response was, "Oh mom, all the kids have earrings these days."
Well played, Ellen... we have a will to think about!
Nanny likes things in a very particular way. She likes to have her tea with the bag still steeping, a mid-afternoon cookie, and she hates $20 bills. She thinks that the People's Republic of China is printing $20 bills and sending their citizens here to spend spend spend. You can tell if your bill is fake if it has the two-toned print on it. Ask her. She'll tell you.
She sent me to the bank for $500. She doesn't leave the house. Obviously this money is going right up her nose. The awful part about this task was that she had a list of what she would like:
I went to the BOA ATM in Franklin then drove back to Norfolk to go to my bank and told them the story (I left the part out about the Chinese treasury notes). I got her everything on her list. I also got a kickback of one of the fivers (score!) which, just like the rest of the $495, went right up my nose.
Not only has this week been another testament to the horrid streak of post-college fail, but I am having roommate trouble.
"Roommate trouble? Anthony, you live at home! Those aren't your roommates, they're your parents!"
Well, back in August, my grandmother moved in with us. She's 96, Irish-Catholic, and hard of hearing. She believes in stockinged-feet, not traveling after dark, and that Obama is a Muslim (and that that would be a bad thing.)
Obviously she knows not of my love life, despite asking my mother if I'm gay on the grounds that I sport an earring. Ellen's only response was, "Oh mom, all the kids have earrings these days."
Well played, Ellen... we have a will to think about!
Nanny likes things in a very particular way. She likes to have her tea with the bag still steeping, a mid-afternoon cookie, and she hates $20 bills. She thinks that the People's Republic of China is printing $20 bills and sending their citizens here to spend spend spend. You can tell if your bill is fake if it has the two-toned print on it. Ask her. She'll tell you.
She sent me to the bank for $500. She doesn't leave the house. Obviously this money is going right up her nose. The awful part about this task was that she had a list of what she would like:
- 6 $50 = $300
- 15 $10 = $150
- 10 $5 = $50
I went to the BOA ATM in Franklin then drove back to Norfolk to go to my bank and told them the story (I left the part out about the Chinese treasury notes). I got her everything on her list. I also got a kickback of one of the fivers (score!) which, just like the rest of the $495, went right up my nose.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Jewish Winter Holidays
Happy Hanukkah!
I hope you all are enjoying the festival of lights. As I was working Friday night, I set my alarm for sunset time (according to the Boston Globe) so that I could know the INSTANT the celebration started. I have big plans for my first post-baccalaureate Hanukkah and NOBODY is going to ruin them come Hell (in which Jewish people don't believe) or high water (which Moses could part- so I guess I'm all set!)
I brought my Goodwill-purchased menorah- $2.99- to my boyfriend's where we made a traditional kosher-dairy meal. I made a porcini mushroom soup to serve with lox over latkes with a horseradish whipped cream. We lit the first candle of the menorah while I butchered the blessing that I had memorized from a Barenaked Ladies song. His fan was on, so the candles burned down in about 20 minutes, just enough time to eat, in which the delicious meal was consumed quickly resulting with me lying on the floor from oil overload. The remainder of the weekend was filled with frying and sauteeing everything under the umbrella of Hanukkah celebration... fine by me.
I'm not Jewish. Neither is he. BUT, I did ask him to alert me the instant my overenthusiasm for Jewish holidays borders insincerity.
I hope you all are enjoying the festival of lights. As I was working Friday night, I set my alarm for sunset time (according to the Boston Globe) so that I could know the INSTANT the celebration started. I have big plans for my first post-baccalaureate Hanukkah and NOBODY is going to ruin them come Hell (in which Jewish people don't believe) or high water (which Moses could part- so I guess I'm all set!)
I brought my Goodwill-purchased menorah- $2.99- to my boyfriend's where we made a traditional kosher-dairy meal. I made a porcini mushroom soup to serve with lox over latkes with a horseradish whipped cream. We lit the first candle of the menorah while I butchered the blessing that I had memorized from a Barenaked Ladies song. His fan was on, so the candles burned down in about 20 minutes, just enough time to eat, in which the delicious meal was consumed quickly resulting with me lying on the floor from oil overload. The remainder of the weekend was filled with frying and sauteeing everything under the umbrella of Hanukkah celebration... fine by me.
I'm not Jewish. Neither is he. BUT, I did ask him to alert me the instant my overenthusiasm for Jewish holidays borders insincerity.
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